"My modem says I'm connected at <insert rate here>, but everything is going slow!"

Ok, so you're getting connected fine, and your rate is at a blistering 48k. They why doesn't this seem any faster than when you were connecting at 28.8?.

In almost every case the problem is that something is using your connection, whether you know it or not. The most common culprits are viruses and spyware. Your connection to the internet is like a pipe, and the data you send and receive is water going through that pipe. If there's a bunch of water going out of the pipe, it's going to be difficult for anything to come into it. In some cases shortly after connecting it slows down to the point that you can't do anything at all.

How to tell if this is your problem: Any operating system shows an icon that indicates your dialup connection has been established. In Windows this icon is located in your System Tray, which is down where your clock is. It looks like two computers, like this:
Double-clicking on this icon will show you statistics for your connection, including how fast you're connected, how long you've been connected and--most importantly--how much data has been sent and received since the connection has been established.

If you're experiencing slow throughput while connected to the internet, follow these steps:

• Close any open programs that should be sending data. This includes chat programs, instant messaging programs, email programs, peer-to-peer filesharing programs such as Bittorrent clients, Kazaa, eMule, etc (which by the way--if you have one of these running--is what's causing your problem). If you are asked if you want to disconnect from the internet while closing any of these applications, say No. We want to keep the connection open and just have no applications running.
• Once all the programs are closed, double-click on the icon in your System Tray to bring up the stats.
  
  
  What you will be keeping an eye on is the number of bytes (or in some versions of Windows the number of packets) that are being sent. If this number increases at a steady rate--it won't go up by many numbers at once (you are on dialup after all, you can't send that fast), but if it's going up steadily and you don't have any applications open that should be sending data, then you have some rogue application pumping data out your connection.
  

Once you've identified that something is using your connection, getting it removed is the real trick. Non-savvy users will find it difficult if not impossible to determine what the problem is on their own. The first thing to try is a spyware removal tool. This may be hard to do when you can only get data in at a snail's pace, so maybe you can find a friend to download one for you and burn it to a CD. However you do it, get one and run it. Spyware often sends data it records about your browsing habits and "phones home", sending the data back to the software creator. Some applications (such as WeatherBug) have been known to continuously send traffic out, bogging down a customer's internet connection.

Popular free antispyware applications are Spybot Search & Destroy (http://www.safer-networking.org), Microsoft Antispyware (http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=321cd7a2-6a57-4c57-a8bd-dbf62eda9671&displaylang=en) and Ad-Aware (http://www.lavasoftusa.com, though a direct download link for the free personal edition can be found at http://www.download.com/3000-2144-10045910.html?part=69274&subj=dlpage&tag=button). Download and install one of these utilities and follow the onscreen instructions to scan the machine for malicious software, removing what it finds.

The next thing to look for is viruses. Even customers that have antivirus software installed on their computers can get infected with viruses if they don't keep it up to date. Open your antivirus software and see if there are any alerts, warnings, or error messages. If there are, then your antivirus probably isn't running and your computer could be compromised. The best bet is to have your machine serviced by an authorized technician and get that baby cleaned up pronto.

If you've removed spyware (or found none) and removed viruses (or found none) but your computer is still sending out data, get your computer serviced immediately. If the computer is still sending data it is possibly compromised or hacked. Some viruses drop backdoor programs (such as the MyDoom worm) that allow remote access to your computer as part of their payload. Antivirus software may remove the virus itself, but once a malicious user has access to your computer they may put a "legitimate" program on there so they can access the machine even after it has been cleaned! Antivirus software won't detect non-virus related programs. The most common tactic is to installed an open proxy on the computer, which allows a hacker or spammer to use your computer while it's connected to the internet as if they were at the computer themselves. Spammers have been using computers compromised in this way for a couple years to send their spam. Many customers experiencing slow speeds (but good connect rates) are experiencing it because their computer is sending out thousands and thousands of spam messages each time they connect! Get your machine looked at if despite all your efforts something is being sent out from the computer while you're online.